save these moments

I was up for a couple of hours last night.  Not because of Ashley crying, or Hailey being sick-- ironically.  I was up because somewhere between listening to Collin Ray and requesting teachers for my kids next school year I became overly sentimental.  It never FULLY hits me until nighttime.  When there are no kids screaming or needing to be held.  When it's quiet and I actually have time to think.  It didn't help that I had a dream about the anxieties of elementary school :)

In my head Collin Ray kept singing:

I wish I could save these moments and put them in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turning and keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything not pure, and good, and true.

Yes I know I can't, yes I know I can't
But I wish I could.

My heart ached at the thought of how fast my kids are getting older.  A part of me looks forward to them growing - being able to go and do more.  But the part of me is getting smaller everyday.  There are so many benefits to this stage.  My kids like to snuggle, listen to my stories, tell me about their day, play with me, spend time with me.

Must be the post partum hormones because I'm even teary writing this.  I just explained to Travis what I was writing about.  I told him that he had to stay at five years old.  He said "no."  so I asked how old he needed to be.  7.  now he just upped it to 10.  now 11.  I guess that's my answer.

alright, one last sentimental thought and then I'll toughen up!  I remember in college some guy friends talking me in to auditing this marriage class (why would they do that :) - apparently I needed help :))  So I went a couple times and they were right, the teacher was great.  But one class he showed a movie.  It was a bunch of pictures of families through the years set to music.  Cheesy music like Kenny Rogers through the years type cheesy.  And I remember it hitting me hard.  That's what I wanted the next how many years of my life to be.  Having a family and watching them grow with my husband.  Well.  I guess I'm living the dream :)  I'll enjoy the 3 kids climbing on me for right now.