This one's for mom

So this post is for my mom, and also for journaling purposes. It is extremely long! Today, being mothers day, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how amazing my mom is --both of my moms are and how much I have learned from them. I learned really fast that I would have a better mother's day if instead of focusing on what kind of mom I am - and the many shortcomings I can find - to rather focus on my mom and her amazing example to me. Here are just a few of my major memories of my mom that have changed my life and inspired me to be better, in no real particular order:

1. When I was a senior in high school, for some odd reason they put me on seminary council. One six o'clock in the morning Tuesday meeting we heard a knock at the door. I was stunned to see my mom standing there in here sweats and sweatshirt, make-up-less. She handed me a note and I was informed I couldn't open it quite yet. Of course my curiosity flared and luckily a couple minutes later they informed us that they had our mothers write us a letter. Apparently my mom had just received the message the night before, or perhaps even morning of. She woke up early and wrote the note, then ran down to the high school to deliver it. It chokes me up just thinking of her doing that. She had other kids to worry about, other things on her agenda (namely sleep!) and yet she sacrificed that to let me know she loved me. My eyes filled with tears and I hesitated not to cry in front of my peers when I read that letter. Every time I think of this experience I remind myself of the importance to sacrifice for others, to show our love for them, even if it would be easier to sleep in and give them the note when they get home.

2. I was lucky enough to have my mom for a Sunday school teacher for I don't even know how long - at least three years - but probably four. I loved it. My mom is such a gifted teacher and talented with youth. But that wasn't what made it awesome. What I loved is listening to her personal stories that she would tie in to the lesson. I learned a couple things about my mom that wowed me. It made me see that she had experienced a lot in her life, had come quite a ways, and always came away better for it. She is without a doubt more polished because of her upbringing. This taught me for 1- the importance of having the gospel as the core of your life, 2-how experiences no matter how hard make us better people, and 3- the importance of our kids hearing our stories and testimonies.

3. My mom has always been happy. It is so easy to learn to be happy always and optimistic in everything when that is all you see growing up. It was extremely rare to find my mom sad or sick. This fact has shaped me. I'm not sure I would be as happy a person without her example. She has enabled me to make the most of life, realize how awesome this mortal experience is, and that we should enjoy every moment of it. I'm sure people think she's fake, but she is genuinely happy all the time.

4. A couple years ago, after I finished a conversation on the phone with my mom, I had an ah-ha moment. I'm sure I thought about it before, but I realized that my mom rarely talks about herself. She is always so interested in what is going on in my life and filling me in on all my siblings lives. If I want information I usually have to pry into her. This taught me the importance of listening - how to be more selfless and truly interested in someone else.

5. I played a lot of sport games growing up. Granted and understandably my parents didn't come to all of them. But if it was a home game, they were always there. My dad often left work early to be able to attend my high school games. I can cancel out pretty much all the noise around me when I play. So I found it interesting to me that almost every time -especially in soccer - when I had a one on one - or a fast break depending on me, I would cancel out every voice but one - my mom's. I could hear her scream "go mel, go mel, go mel...." This is mostly just a fun memory, but it also reminds me of the importance of being there to support. Both my parents were great at this. They never failed to show their support and encourage me. I still remember my mom's always calming words before I tried out for a sport. She would usually say the same thing -"They would be crazy not to put you on the team." It was always reassuring to hear and helped calm the nerves a little in my mind.

6. I was mental person as a kid. I was intimidated easily and often got so stressed about social situations that my stomach would hurt. My mom was extremely patient with this, walking me to school every day to ease my stress. One day I showed up for a soccer tryout or practice - something to that effect. I was pretty excited and gun-ho until a girl who deeply intimidated me showed up. My stomach suddenly felt like there was a brick in it. My nerves almost paralyzed me. I couldn't take it - I was about to burst into tears any second. With the fight or flight kicking in - I chose the flight. I ran/walked home - which was just up the road. I remember very vividly walking up the sidewalk to our home. My mom was sitting on the front steps reading the newspaper. When she saw me - it was not sympathy on her face. She stood up and informed me that this was not o.k. She quickly walked me back down to soccer and told me I WAS going to play. This was soooooo good for me. It talk me that I needed to buck up. That life wasn't easy, but also that if you face your fears, it usually turns out not to be scary. Looking many years forward I ended up being good friends with that girl that psyched me out. I will forever be indebted to my mom for this lesson. The importance of facing life and being brave.

7- My mom and me played a lot of Dr. Mario in high school. Yes, I loved the game - and still love it, but that wasn't really why I loved playing. It was so fun to sit and talk to my mom and listen to her freak out and say "oh bev....OH BEV!" It always made me laugh. This taught me how important it is to take time out for people, to spend time doing things together and TALKING.

8- My mom continues to set a great example to me - that of not only a mom, but a grandma. She is AMAZING with my kids. I'm pretty sure my kids wish she was their mom. She not only plays with them and makes things fun, but she is sure to spend intimate 1 on 1 time/attention. Whitney thrives on this. She thinks Grandma is her best friend and that her life revolves around her. That always get way to excited when we bring up the idea of going to Grandma's house. Every time I watch her with my kids, or hear my kids bring her up in their conversation it reminds me of the importance of giving -giving of yourself and giving everyone that intimate attention they crave.

9- When I was about 7 I had kindof a HUGE bike accident. I was unconciuos for most of the experience. There are a few moments I do remember - that of my mom holding me by the sink in the bathroom - washing out my wounds and keeping me awake. I also remember her telling Amy to keep me awake in the back seat. I also remember her run/walking through our back yard, carrying me to the car that waited on the street behind us (ours was under construction, which triggered the bike accident). Afterwards she waited on me hand and foot. My permanent spot was the family room couch. I remember her buying things that I could make to keep me entertained. Shortly after I also remember swimming in my Grandpa's pool in California and she had to keep analyzing all the stiches in my face to see if I could keep swimming. Her charitable acts were/are still such an example to me. She was everything a mom could be when a kid, who was still mental, needed that love through a hard time. I hope that I might be sensitive to my kids' challenges/hard times. I pray that I might have the patience and love for them that my mom did for me.

10- Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Yes, I always knew I loved my parents. They are a huge part of my heart. When I went to Israel I actually even experienced some home sickness. Being away from them made me realize how much they do for me. My mom sent sweet packages, just like she has for her missionaries and other kids. There is nothing like recieving something like that when you are far from home. My feelings for them were so close to the surface while I was there that I refused to call home, knowing that I would ball through the entire conversation - giving them the wrong impression, since I really was having the time of my life! Last fall my parents went on a trip to Israel. It was only two weeks - but wow, I didn't realize how much I love talking to my mom on the phone (and I hate talking on the phone!) all the time. I call way more often than necessary. Having just a two week drought of this made me appreciate her more. She continues to give me love, support, encouragement, and good laughs.

In closing my mom in very similar to me in one way in paticular - a love for freedom. Motherhood has been hard for me in that aspect. I'm not a very self-sacrificing kind of person. I stand in awe very often at how readily my mom sacrificed herself for her family. With SIX kids there wasn't much time for herself. She didn't buy herself new clothes, or go on many get-aways, or even dates with my dad. She was always the first to sacrifice so that someone else could benefit -not to mention keeping the house immaculate and being involved in every child's life. She always knew all my friends, my situation, my current stance on life. I give props to my mom for her amazing example. No words - not even this small novel - can explain even a portion of my love for her. She has taught me so much, given me so much, inspired me in so many ways. What can I say more that how fortunate I am to have the amazing mom that I do. Thanks mom, you deserve any bit (you don't get much) of freedom you current stage of life can offer.